I am curious about how kundalini feels for you who seem to be working slowly and with a method.
i'm giving the wrong impression if i seem to be implying that i have a method, that is, if by 'method' you mean 'system.' my spiritual sensibility is similar to Max's, in that i am beholden to no particular system. that's a HUGE part of what first attracted me to him. eclecticism rocks!
as far as how it feels... i'm sure you know as well as anyone that the energy is not at all static. right now i'm going through another one of those phases where i can't sleep more than 2 or 3 hours and my spine feels like there's thorns in it. often this would be coupled with periodic bursts of high anxiety, but not this time. this time the predominating feeling is a steady desire for a partner. i don't feel lonely at all, but i seem to crave that affection the way that someone might crave chocolate.
my body's constantly buzzing and tingling, and that never goes away, although the intensity is always in flux. there was one time about 3 years ago when my body didn't buzz or tingle for the better part of a day, and it was the eeriest feeling in the world. i felt so hollow and dead.
there are times when i feel weak and times when i feel as if i could influence the tides. there are times when my eyes get in the way and i can see more clearly with my eyes closed. there are moments of perfection when i experience being everything around me, all at once. everything is separate and unique, and united and seamless, at the same time.
sometimes i just want to be left the fuck alone and scream. sometimes i get vertigo.
i'm sure i'm leaving out a ton of stuff.
i just allow it to bathe me as i continue to work to rid my body and psyche of as much resistance as i can manage.
Whatever. I am prepared to accept that it may take aeons to heal and learn more.
oh nonsense, darling. the only way that it will take that long is if you believe it will. sometimes it takes aeons for us to finally learn that it doesn't take aeons.
I thought I heard the man say it was feminine energy but it didnt make too much sense. I felt no cool downflow. What exposed itself was golden bright and filled my heart and head.
no, none of those types of distinctions really make too much sense. trappings by which we mistake the map for the territory. to definitively state what 'is' implies what 'is not,' and in the realms of the subtle contradictions are bound to unfold. better to just laugh at it all. if we're daring enough we can learn to rewrite the books with each chuckle.
just back from awesome workshop. love the group. love the practise.
perhaps mantra was right and i missed my chance at sharing a beautiful experience with some beautiful people. it took a while, but Max's transmission.... let's say.... changed some things.
his path is not for me, but today i can say that i'm glad to have at least met him.
i really like my path, though. it's pretty fucking cool to be hundun on most days.
kundalini talk tends to lead folks to want to ask about siddhis.
suffice to say that i'm a healer. i've chosen that as my calling, and that's more than enough for me. the rest, for the most part, is a waste of time to talk about.
Edited by Hundun, 21 May 2008 - 09:55 PM.