For every dollar a man makes a woman makes 70 cents
...which is not fair since man is left with only thirty
Stupid joke thread
Started by Protector, May 26 2012 08:59 PM
10 replies to this topic
#1
Protector
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Posted 26 May 2012 - 08:59 PM
Sword cuts in two pieces
Cutting two pieces is easy
Cutting two into one is hard part
You don't cut opponent
It is against universal law
You cut two into one
GRYFFINDOR
Cutting two pieces is easy
Cutting two into one is hard part
You don't cut opponent
It is against universal law
You cut two into one
GRYFFINDOR
#2
Birch
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Posted 28 May 2012 - 04:36 PM
Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Would you like a beer?"
Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF! he vanishes.
Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF! he vanishes.
"Chi is free!"- "Don't give your chi to your practice" Both unknown, if you know where these come from, let me know!
#3
Birch
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Posted 28 May 2012 - 04:48 PM
A priest, a rabbi, and a pastor are sitting in a bar, across the street from a brothel. They are sipping their drinks when they see a rabbi walk in to the brothel. "Oy! It's awful to see a man of the cloth give into temptation", says the rabbi.
A short while later, they see a pastor walk into the brothel. "Damn! It's terrible to see a man of the cloth give into such temptation", says the pastor.
In a little bit, they see a priest enter the brothel.
"It's nice to see the ladies, who have been used so poorly, have time to confess their sins", says the priest.
A short while later, they see a pastor walk into the brothel. "Damn! It's terrible to see a man of the cloth give into such temptation", says the pastor.
In a little bit, they see a priest enter the brothel.
"It's nice to see the ladies, who have been used so poorly, have time to confess their sins", says the priest.
"Chi is free!"- "Don't give your chi to your practice" Both unknown, if you know where these come from, let me know!
#4
thelerner
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Posted 28 May 2012 - 05:29 PM
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Coronel Sanders was chasing it.
Q. Why did the whale cross the road?
A. To get to the other tide.
A. Coronel Sanders was chasing it.
Q. Why did the whale cross the road?
A. To get to the other tide.
Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heart. A creed from Pronoia
Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experience the loss of soul. Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves. ~ Gabrielle Roth
Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experience the loss of soul. Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves. ~ Gabrielle Roth
#5
Apech
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Posted 29 May 2012 - 01:14 AM
Jean Paul Sartre walks into a cafe.
Waiter: What can I get for you, sir?
Sartre: I'd like a coffee but with no cream.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, we're out of cream.
Sartre: Then I'll have a coffee with no milk.
Waiter: What can I get for you, sir?
Sartre: I'd like a coffee but with no cream.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, we're out of cream.
Sartre: Then I'll have a coffee with no milk.
The Book of Two Ways blog: http://wp.me/p2uiOi-1
#6
chi 2012
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Posted 29 May 2012 - 09:59 PM
What was the name of the unreleased song that Elton John and Michael Jackson wrote together?
Answer: Don't let your son go down on me.
Answer: Don't let your son go down on me.
#7
thelerner
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Posted 31 May 2012 - 01:46 PM
A Modest Proposal
I think we bums need to do more then 'chat' about issues, We need to take ACTION!!
I propose we fund a project to give 8 or 9 pit bulls to each member of the Tea Party. I'll need a thousand dollars from each member to make this dream come true. Or if you think that's a crazy idea, we could just collect $50 each and get the dogs from local pounds. BAM, I've just saved each person $950!!
There's a place we can rent to keep the dogs by the Keller Preschool for the blind.
I don't see how anyone could object to this idea.
If you like the Tea Party and like Pit Bulls then
its a great because it make members more powerful.
If you don't like the Tea Party and don't like Pit Bulls then
its great because the pit bulls will attack the Partiers.
If you don't like the Tea Party and like Pit Bulls then
its great because the Pit Bulls will show love and mellow the Tea Partiers.
If you like the Tea Party and don't like Pit Bulls then
..maybe.. I got nothing, but what are the odds of that happening.
I can't see why anyone would be against this plan.
Edited by thelerner, 31 May 2012 - 02:11 PM.
Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heart. A creed from Pronoia
Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experience the loss of soul. Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves. ~ Gabrielle Roth
Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experience the loss of soul. Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves. ~ Gabrielle Roth
#8
rainbowvein
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Posted 01 June 2012 - 08:01 AM
Creative, you are.A Modest Proposal
When perfection exists as the nature of your Heart, why do you lose composure by dwelling on imperfections?
-Sri Ramana Maharshi
-Sri Ramana Maharshi
#9
A Seeker
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Posted 01 June 2012 - 08:11 AM
Creative, you are.
To make it even better, we should get the funds from members of some other forum!
OK, I got one:
A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey! We don't serve strings here."
The string, dejected, goes outside. Then he has an idea! He steps into the alley, throws himself on the ground and rolls around -- back & forth and round & round until he is a tangled-up mess.
Then he walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "wait a minute! Aren't you that string I just threw outta here?"
The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
#10
Taomeow
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Posted 01 June 2012 - 09:21 AM
Q: Mom, what do they call that useless thingie that grows at the end of a boy's weenie?
A: A man.
A: A man.
#11
Mal Stainkey
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Posted 02 June 2012 - 06:21 PM
bye for now
Mal - artmgs@yahoo.com
You are not what you think you are. But what you think... you are.
"Don't think.....feel" Bruce Lee | "Feel.....don't think" Qui-Gon Jinn
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